So I feel like trash but I just can’t live like this anymore guys..Please read through this and signal boost like hell. I’m not doing okay.
For my friends and people who follow me on tumblr, you know that since the beginning of June, I’ve been having a legacy of medical problems. Since then, I’ve been to the ER four times, I’ve had surgery and I’ve been to more doctors visits than I can count. And I still have not gotten to the root of my medical problems. In fact, it seems like the surface has only been scratched.
My entire quality of life has gone from bad to worse. My sleep patterns are screwed up. I’m in constant pain and discomfort and I am gaining weight and having worsening anxiety and depression from body image issues and stress.
I moved to Florida because I got a job at Disney and it’s my dream to eventually be able to work my way to the art department. But with my current situation, just leaving my house and going to work is uncomfortable and no one seems to care. My doctors appointments need to be weaved around through work and I have to attend work or I won’t get paid and I’ll lose my job.
It’s an endless cycle but unfortunately I’m at a point where I can’t do normal things anymore without being in pain and discomfort and I have no motivation for the things I used to enjoy. I can’t work and manage my health at the same time.
I have to choose to either be in pain and suffering and keep my job OR quit my job, move back to Michigan and go through an intense and expensive period of figuring this out. Moving back home will crush me. If I quit Disney, I will have no chance of ever moving up in the company. They probably will not rehire me.
I also cannot afford to be jobless. And work is so hard to find that if I move back home, I have 0 guarantee that I’ll get a job, let alone one that I love and cherish so much. So I’ve thought long and hard about it and the only way at present to avoid losing my job entirely, is to go on extended medical leave. That way, I will still have my job waiting for me and I can take the self care that I need to get well again.
But that leaves the problem of money. If I’m not working I won’t have money what-so-ever and if I don’t have money out here, well, I’ll have to go back home and leave my roommates screwed over. The situation is awful because it’s not only going to affect my life but my roommates as well. And that’s not fair.
So that’s why I’ve set up this funding campaign. While I’m on medical leave, the donations and money I get here will serve for day to day living such as groceries, utilities for my apartment, gas and medication expenses. While I do cosplay and have other hobbies, I’m at a point where even THAT is unenjoyable so money will definitely not be going towards that at all.
I’m really disgusted at this entire situation and I HATE asking for money and charity. I hate it. But it’s either this or I lose my future and my dream. Art is the only thing I am good at and traditional college doesn’t work because classroom settings are very triggering for me. I plan to go to online school, but that isn’t as impressive as a normal college education. Disney hires internally, so even if I get an elearning degree, I have a better chance because I already work for them.
If I lose my ability to not be able to be an artist to make a living, I really don’t know what else I’d have to live for. Art is my life and my soul.
So please, even if you can’t donate much, I will take anything you can afford to give. That being said, I recognize my problems aren’t as severe as some and self care should always come first. So if you’re having problems of your own that require money to fix, please instead signal boost and share this fundraiser. I have a link to the post on tumblr here -> squishlemon.tumblr.com/post/10… and here is the link to the fund raiser ->www.gofundme.com/g35kxg
For anyone and everyone who donates, I will figure out a way to make it up to you. I don’t know how yet but I promise I will. Most likely any art of your choice.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.